I’ve been reading recently some articles about the so called meditation side effects and I was shocked to see the interpretation given by journalists, who may not have enough spiritual knowledge, or they don’t know much about meditation, which is many times considered as being the same thing with mindfulness.
To make things clear, meditation means emptying your mind of thoughts. Why would you want to do that? In our daily earthly life we give a lot of time and energy to our conscious mind’s thoughts and so often these thoughts come from fear. Can be the fear of not being good enough, of what family or society thinks about us, what we have to do as opposed to what we want to do, what other people expect from us, how we can grow our spirit or our possessions. All these thoughts are stored in that 5% of our brain that we constantly use and that speaks a language we understand in physical form.
Then we look for knowledge online, in books, at workshops, etc trying to find out more. What is not so easy to accept is that all the knowledge we need is stored in the other 95% of our brain which may not speak a language we understand and which we don’t know how to access, at least at conscious level. Well through meditation we can get to the point of stopping the thoughts in our conscious mind and access the knowledge of our subconscious mind and like this bring it into the conscious part of our brain. The stillness of the mind, apart from bringing knowledge, helps healing in so many ways. It brings to the surface traumas we may not even be aware of for them to be healed, it helps healing physical conditions no matter how serious they are, it helps bringing positive thoughts and it dissipates the fear.
On the other hand mindfulness, although in the end will empty the mind of some thoughts, is a practice of being present in the now moment. While meditation requires us to be still, mindfulness is part of an activity, as long as you are fully aware of what you are doing at that specific moment. How many times we eat watching TV, we walk thinking about how to pay our bills or about what to cook for dinner or about how to solve a matter at work? Well mindfulness is teaching us how to be present in our lives, how to do one thing at a time while being 100% there. To give you an example I tried to be mindful at work because I don’t enjoy working extra hours. I concentrated on the task at hand without even minding other things I had to do later on the day. I made a list of everything I had to do, I decided on priorities and stayed focused only on the task at hand. What I noticed at the end of the day was that I accomplished much more than if I would have tried to multitask, I was not that tired and this felt empowering looking back at how efficient I was.
As you can see none of these practices is about concentrating on our thoughts, but they are practices meant to take us away from our thoughts to allow us to discover what is behind it. Now the articles I saw were speaking about experiences when an employer, aware of the benefits of either meditation or mindfulness, sent their employees to trainings. They did it because it is a fact that meditation and/ or mindfulness contribute to a better quality of life of the individual and people with a better quality of live are more motivated and more productive at work. Now one thing these companies didn’t know is that you cannot raise someone’s spiritual vibration without them being willing to do so. You cannot force someone through a mandatory training to become a spiritual being, if they don’t choose to do so. The stories go on these employees being asked to sit still and concentrate on their thoughts, this being called both meditation and mindfulness in the same story. Concentration on thoughts is exactly the opposite of meditation, so this made me wonder how much they understood about this practice.They also said after this experience there were so many cases of people starting to experience anxiety, panic attacks, nervous breakdowns and many of them ended up needing long term medical help while most of them could never recover to the initial state. Of course here someone like me would ask: what was the initial state? Was it the truth or was it a lie the person was living in? were those people pushing themselves so much to perform in their professional plan that they stored and buried their inner stuff so deep they were not even aware of it?
If I wouldn’t have searched for answers, read a bunch of books and attended a lot of workshops, I could have said the same. The difference is that I stepped in my spiritual world by myself after knowing since I was born that this life must be much more than what we can see with our physical eyes. It was my choice to start questioning, to start searching and to start discovering my true nature. In my own journey I started to do guided meditations, calling on angels or learning how to relax. Then I learned to meditate without guidance, but with a musical background that was meant to help me relax and go on that space of tranquillity where fear doesn’t exist anymore, where there is only unconditional love, the natural state of our spirit. All these were pleasant positive experiences that increased my vibration and were very helpful in so many ways.
All well until I started my Life Force Energy Healing training. As a highly empathy I could always feel other people’s emotions, pains, sources of problems and I was the kind of person offering help without being asked, so when I saw I can learn how to also heal others from what I was feeling in them, I was clearly up to learn it. As part of this course I got to learn about the real strong meditation, the one done with no music and no gentle voice guiding me to go to a certain place, but to find exactly that space inside myself that brings out my own answers, my own knowledge, and my own spirit. The list of benefits of this meditation is long, including physical healing, a body feeling younger and stronger, a stronger connection with the self and with personal spirit guides and guardian angels, just to name a few. One thing I didn’t understand at that time was that this meditation was in fact accessing exactly my own spirit, my own subconscious, my own fears, traumas, my own talents, gifts or whatever was stored in my mind, body and spirit. And the start was really hard for me. I started to see so much negativity it became terribly scary and it started to bother me at all times, not only in meditation. I was having strange nightmares, negative visions, feeling the earthbound needy spirits that just wouldn’t allow me to go to sleep. My vibration was lowered too much and my energy field was too weak to be able to shield myself enough. I could have run to a doctor that would have clearly given me some antidepressants and advise me to rest and stay away from stress, but instead I ran to my Reiki teacher asking for help. I did that because what you find in spiritual world you cannot treat with earthly remedies.
I had to learn first of all to heal myself before looking at healing others, one of the tasks being to strengthen myself so my energy field cannot be touched by lower energies. I learned although I was spiritually attacked by the negative forces, this was possible because of my own negativity stored inside by different experiences, by living around beings with a lower spiritual vibration or by different ways of thinking learned in early childhood from family, school or mass media. Why was I going through this kind of experience when I started to meditate? Because by clearing my conscious mind I allowed whatever was stored inside to come to the surface. This was not at all a “side effect” of my meditation practice; it was exactly me with all my memories, experiences good and bad, fears and phobias coming to the surface. It was like looking inside of me for the first time in my life after not doing any cleaning work there for many years.
When you don’t clean your house, there is so much dirt and stuff adding that one day that house, although beautiful at the beginning, will start looking ugly and dirty. The potential remains there tough, but you need to take some tools and cleaning products and put your energy in restoring that place it to the initial state. The same goes with our inner being that in the end reflects in our physical life. Storing inside negative thoughts, envy, judgement, resentment will make our lives become too heavy, will make us age before our time and bring serious disease. Cleaning our mental house takes time and effort and the benefits are not seen immediately. It takes work, focus and patience until we can understand where we started, where we got and where we are going to.
I have to admit I was really scared after that experience and surely I didn’t want it back which is why I stopped meditating like that but I never stopped looking for answers and new ways of raising my vibration. I remained determined to know how to heal so I moved on, doing angel meditations, trying some mindfulness, learning 5th dimensional meditations and attending spiritual workshops. I took different classes and combined different practices I’ve learnt to create my own healing technique. Now looking back to where I started I can clearly see the difference, I can see how much negative energy I had stored inside, so much that it was pouring out at the start of my mantra meditation and how much I’ve changed since then. There was a time I could not see at all any quality in me, I was thinking there’s absolutely nothing good about me because I was stuffed with negative beliefs. Clearing my energy field was what made me see the diamonds each of us have inside and that come out only after we do the inner cleaning work, with or without “side effects”.
And because the Universe has a lot of humour and gives us incredible opportunities to learn and grow, it happened I got to read about the so called side effects of meditation exactly at the time I decided to leave fear aside and restart my mantra meditation. It may have been given to me as a trial of my commitment or as a way of looking at my own understanding of what happened with my negative experiences around the most powerful way of meditating I know. I learned from my own experience that there is no such thing as side effect of meditation because there can be no side effect of who you are, there can be no side effect from something you willingly hold inside.
The truth is that one of the hardest things people can do is to stay alone with their own being, be it physical and/ or spiritual. Living with yourself is so much harder than living with someone because when you are alone, in the dark, with no one or nothing to distract you, then you have to look inside and find out who you really are, but before you find this out you have to clear the clutter built between you on earth and your spirit. This cleaning may not be a pleasant thing for some of us, but for sure it worth each and every second of work, of fear, of search, of looking inside ourselves objectively and taking decisions without judging whatever we find there.
I re-started my mantra meditation determined to face anything I may find in there, prepared to see again bad things, not realising how far I have gone in the meantime, how I found and polished my inner diamond. To my surprise I didn’t find anything scary, but the bliss of meeting my own spirit. This time I can clearly feel the strength coming after my morning meditation, I can feel more grounded, more connected to the Divine. I didn’t overcome a side effect, I only cleared the clutter in my mind, the one I was carrying, the one I built up in time, the one I choose to experience in order to learn some lessons that help my spirit to grow to the next level.
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